Another old post

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Here is another old post during my modeling days. Oh how I miss the modeling days. maybe one day I could get back into modeling. I would really love that, I need to drink more water and start taking better care of my hair and then I could model again. I was just in a video that will be posted on the internet very soon. I will let you know when that goes up. For now here is that old post I was talking about:


I don't tan I burn and by burn I do not mean pink I mean RED. So when I was told I would get more modeling jobs if I had a tan I was definitely not going to go out and lay in the sun. Plus I don not really want skin cancer at any time in my life and so I see the burning thing as sort of a blessing in disguise. I have though picked up so jergins lotion that is supposed to give you more color gradually if you use it every day for a week. This is true but the color I am getting is more orange than tan. I am going to use it for a week and see what happens so far I have used it for 3 days and the orange is either going away or I am getting more used to it. Honestly I can't say which it is.

I don't like it though, I really like myself the way I am. I know that may seem weird to a lot of people but I have worked hard to get to that point of just being happy with myself. Now I am being told that I need to use this shampoo and this makeup and I need to workout and get a tan and...and...and...you get the point. Even if you like yourself this litany of things that just aren't quite right with me is making me self-conscience and it is making me wonder if I am all that great. It makes for a great daily internal struggle.

In this situation If I fight the system, I fight myself.

Listening to: took the words right out of my mouth - Meatloaf