I received Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love: Relationship Repair in a Flash by Nancy Dreyfus recently for review.
I was excited to read it but again it took me a while to get to it, not sure why... anyway. My husband and I communicate very well so I thought this book was going to be a breeze which it was for the most part but there were a few surprises. I think the biggest thing I learned from this book is you can never stop trying to improve your relationship. Just like life in general the moment you become complacent is the moment you or your relationship begins to deteriorate. In life it's your memory, your reaction time or your flexibility in a relationship it's trust, loving physical touch and meaningful communication. Either way it is each of our job's to seek out new and better ways to live, to get out there learn new skills and create experiences that keep our minds, bodies and spirits engaged. If anyone expects to have what can be considered a good and lasting relationship you must stay engaged in that relationship.
With that said it is naive to ever think that you don't need to read relationship books because "my relationship is fine." Talk to me Like I'm Someone you Love is basically a book of flash cards. One liners, if you will to keep the lines of communication open between you and your partner, Each card helps to put into words the feelings you want to convey but for some reason just can't get across to your partner. Each card is accompanied by a page or so of explanation as to when and why each card might be used. As it turns out I didn't find a lot that my husband and I need to work on but I this book did give me a whole list of new phrases to work into conversation that will help to get my point across without making my husband feel belittled or that I don't love him. Even though while in the heat of an argument it may feel like your partner doesn't love you the truth is that they do and it is important to let them know that without having to forfeit your opinions. this book gives a lot of great ideas on how to do just that.
A groundbreaking, interactive relationship tool that literally places in the hands of couples the power to transform chronically frustrating relationship dynamics.
We've all been there. A conversation with a loved one escalates into conflict. Voices rise to a fever pitch and angry, accusative words fly through the air. At times like these, it seems impossible to find the magic words that will lead to healing. Enter Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love.
A psychotherapist with decades of experience in counseling couples, Nancy Dreyfus hit upon the revolutionary practice outlined in this book during a couples-therapy session in which a wife's unrelenting criticism of her husband was causing him to become emotionally withdrawn. In the midst of this, Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, "Talk to me like I'm someone you love" and gestured to the husband that he should hold it up. He did and within seconds the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged. Dreyfus was startled, then intrigued, and then motivated to create a tool that could help others.
This elegantly packaged spiral-bound book features more than one hundred of Dreyfus's "flash cards for real life"-written statements that express what we wish we could communicate to the person we love, but either can't find the right words or the right tone in which to say it. The statements include:
*Taking responsibility: "I realize I'm overreacting. Can you give me a minute to get sane again?"
*Apologizing: "I know I've really hurt you. What can I do to help you trust me again?"
*Loving: "You are precious, and I get that I haven't been treating you like you are."
A one-of-a-kind, practical relationship tool, Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love will help couples to stop arguing and begin healing.