As if the list of things couldn't get longer. That is exactly how I feel totally overwhelmed and helpless all at the same time. What is the deal with that. When did I start loosing control of my life? Ok forget that when did I actually lose control? I feel like I have a million things on my plate and none of them amount to anything. Like 1. scrub kitchen floor and 2. vacuum inside hall closet. I am not kidding that is actually something I need to do, The LG opened up the closet last night and pulled out a board game which he is way too young to play when I realised there are dust bunnies in their the size of real little bunny rabbits. I start thinking of all the things I need to do, then I start feeling sorry for myself and just complaining about things like "it's cold in here." I don't get up to do anything about it I just sit here being cold. I have goose bumps on my arms right now as i type this but I'm not getting up.
I think this is depression maybe, ok maybe it isn't I can't tell. Is that a sign of depression? Being totally unable to make a decision? Alright, let's move on...
3. take little guy to the park (hope it doesn't rain)
4. find an atm that lets you take out $10 at a time
5. take $10 out of the bank
6. drop off books and video at the library (try not to worry about how much we have racked up in overdue fees since I can't pay them til Friday)
7. write more blog entries
8. clean bedroom
9. clean LG's room
10. repot plant
11. finish laundry
12. put futon mattress back on futon frame
13. Come up with crap to do with LG so he doesn't watch TV all day
14. bring in garbage cans
15. take shower
16. give LG a bath
17. make more coffee
17.5 try not to worry about using all the LG's milk for my coffee
18. make lunch
19. make dinner
20. try not to worry about Super Hubby flying today
21. try not to worry about being alone for a week and a half
22. get a babysitter for Saturday night
23. try not to worry about not being able to find a babysitter for Saturday night
24. try not to worry about not having any money until Friday
ok now I am too overwhelmed to go on. I really need to work on my self management. I need more calming, relaxing things in my life. Things that help me focus on the important things in life.
25. make time for myself
26. make time for something calming and relaxing.
oh great now I have more things to do.
Monday, March 16, 2009