I have a few friends who are either currently pregnant or a currently trying to get pregnant so I want to put together a post just for them. It seems as soon as you announce that you are pregnant or start showing (whichever comes first) people will come out of the woodwork to give you advice. Being pregnant is like winning the lottery, people just magically appear to shower you with the dos and don'ts (as they see it) of pregnancy, parenting and just about anything other topic under the sun that because they have raised children in the past, or have grandkids now or possibly just knows someone who used to babysit for a kid once they feel they have a leg up on you and your situation. Most of these people are completely well meaning people who occasionally have helpful advice to impart. Occasionally you will encounter someone who seems to want to tell you the one and only way to do something like the perfect stroller to buy who doesn't really have your or your child's well being at heart and only want to boss you around, as it were, but in my experience these incidence are few and far between.
Now that I am a Mom I can tell you that the urge to share the little bit of "wisdom" that I have picked up while parenting over the last two years is strong. I will see a Mom-to-be in the Mall and I will want to walk over to her and give her a tip about something that worked for me. Being a Mom is so hard I want to give my fellow Moms all the help I can, I don't know a lot but I do know that Diaper Genies and Baby Bathtubs aren't worth the money and I want to tell her that before she puts either of those items on her baby registry. I am proud to say however that I have never done this, I only give advice when asked, I have been successful in restraining myself from unsolicited advice. Until now...
Most of my friends actually had children before I did so I was the one asking them for advice but now two of my friends are coming into the Mommy ranks and I have a couple things I am just bursting to tell them. Luckily, I have this blog where I can share my advice for them to read or pass over without having me talking their heads off, backing them into a corner while they gracefully look for an exit line.
After thinking long and hard about it I have two pieces of advice, they are extremely simple but require practice, patience and presence of mind. Almost like two meditations.
1. Just Sit Down
There is one thing that children want from you and that is You. Sure they want milk and clean diapers and rest and stimulation but those things alone are no good, they want them from You. When their child cries most Mothers do not hear "Milk,Diaper, Sleep, Toy" they hear "Mommy I want some milk,Mommy I need my diaper changed, Mommy I'm tired, Mommy I want to play," they hear those things because that is what their little one is saying. In the beginning they can do nothing on their own and as they get older you are one of the most important people in the world to them, they seek your attention and approval. In my experience, when things get crazy if I stop and listen my little guy is asking me for something, sometimes its just attention and other times it is something more tangible like juice or a banana. When he was just a baby he would cry and I would pace from room-to-room trying to figure out what was wrong while worrying if the neighbors could hear his cries, so in my frustration one day I just sat down in the middle of the floor and hugged him. He immediately stopped crying, I talked to him and laughed with him all the while cuddling him and giving him little kissies. He calmed right down and so did I, after a few minutes I got up and we continued our day as normal. He needs a clear signal that I am paying attention to him and am not blowing him off and I need a break, it's a win/win. As a toddler sometimes I will be walking around the house trying to work on chores as I check my email all the while thinking about needing to get to the bank before nap time the more hectic things get the more the little guy feels it he starts whining and following me from room-to-room trying to show me his car or get me to let him watch tv. Sometimes it escalates until I think I will lose my mind and then I remind myself to sit down, right then and there I sit down in the floor. The little guy runs over to me and jumps in my lap he drives his car on my arm and babbles away. I calm down and so does he, he will get another car and we will both play for a few minutes then we get up and go on about our day. So, when things seem over whelming and the little one is giving you Hell, just sit down. This has worked for me in parks and crowded malls too, find a bench and sit down you both might just need a little break from all the chaos for a minute.
2. Begin as you plan to go
I read a wonderful book called Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby
When push comes to shove those are my sage words of advice. Please feel free to take them or leave then whichever works for you and I am sorry if anything sounds preachy I just needed to get it out there, I couldn't help myself. I won't force any other ideas or tips on you but if you have a question please ask. Its not that I don't want to talk more about the little one it's just that I don't want to push any more unsolicited advice, but if tips/tricks and pointers are what you are looking for then by all means solicit. You know where to find me.
My baby advice
What's on my nightstand this month
Books I finished this month:
- Leven Thumps and the Eyes of the Want
by Obert Skye. I feel like I have been reading htis book forever. It was ok and every time I started reading it I would really get into the story again but it was so long that I had to put it down and when I did it was easy not to pick it up again. I really Loved the first book in this series so I will keep getting them until they are over, according to the back of this book there is another one coming out and according the Amazon it already came out last September (where have I been? oh yeah buried in the Eyes of the Want) So, I guess that one goes on my reading list now.
- Fool: A Novel by Christopher Moore I love Christopher Moore. I have loved every single one of his books that I have read. I haven't read them all yet but I am working on it, this is his newest novel and it is one of his best. It is loosely based on King Lear but from the eyes of the Fool but even then quite a bit of it has nothing to do with Shakespeare at all but is just it's own thing and what a wonderful thing it is. I laughed out loud quite a few times causing my son to look at me funny and wonder if he should laugh or if I was just crazy. If enjoy reading fiction/Shakespeare/humor you will like this book and if you don't you should head straight to the Doctor and have your humors sorted out.
Books I am currently reading
- Poemcrazy: Freeing Your Life with Words
I am STILL in the middle of this one, it has been on my bookshelf for a few years now. I picked it up to try to jump start my writing but it is now buried under a Parents, Good Housekeeping and Playboy on the back of the toilet so we will see about this one. I feel bad about this one being on my currently reading list for two months now. I might finish it this month, we will see.
- Love Song of J. Edgar Hoover (Kinky Friedman Novels)
by Kinky Friedman. This one landed on my nightstand after Leven Thumps. I have had this book for a long time too. I am not loving it but it is an easy read so hopefully I will finish it soon and have more books on my finished list next month. It seems like a simple straight forward mystery except for the fact that it is fiction and the main character's name is Kinky Friedman just like the author maybe there will be a twist that will surprise me.
- The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living
by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Truth be told I have only listened to two seconds of this audio book but I am really looking forward to the rest of it, I have wanted to read one of the Dalai Lama's books for a long time and finally I am.
Up Next: books I will be reading soon.
- Dirty Little Angels
by Chris Tusa. This one is I have in ebook format that I am greatly looking forward to as well. I am not sure what to expect from it storywise but just from what I have heard it will be a great read. I'll keep you all posted on this one, maybe I will have my Iphone soon so I can take it with me to read instead of having to have my laptop.
- My Story: A Photographic Essay on Life with Multiple Sclerosis
by Amelia Davis. This is an interesting one for me, I won this book in a giveaway. I don't know anyone who has MS, that I know of. but that is the thing there are people all over all around us living with diseases that we know nothing about, too often we don't learn about ailments until they strike us or someone very close to us no wonder people discriminate how can you not when you are ill informed? If an effort to be more open and knowledgeable I am looking forward to experiencing this book.
Now I have to ask...what are you reading? If you keep your own blog then I invite you to visit the 5minutesforbooks blog by clicking on the picture at the top of this post then write a post of your own if you don't have your own blog then please leave me a comment telling me what you are reading now.
Wonderful Daughters of Eve Giveaway
If I could get through life without purchasing anything from a factory I would. Handmade items have so much more value, just the idea that a person spent time to make it makes it “worth” more. I met Courtney from Daughters Of Eve on Twitter a few weeks ago when you see the items in her shop you will know exactly what I mean. Just looking at the pictures of the baby blankets in her shop put a smile on my face and warm my heart and now one of you lucky readers won’t have to just look at pictures any longer.
Courtney has generously agreed to give one winner any item in her shop up to $15.00 plus free shipping and 25% off one more item just in case you can’t decide on just one item. Which I must say could be hard, she has so many cute things in her shop like this I Love Mommy and Daddy Blanket.
This blanket is fleece and measures approximately 38 inches by 49 inches. Making it plenty big for a baby, a toddler, or a good lap blanket, even my little guy who is really tall can be completely covered by this blanket, I love that.
Another favorite blanket in the Daughters Of Eve shop is the Space Man Blanket. Every little astronaut needs a snugly soft space man blanket and what little boy doesn’t want to be an astronaut? Or little girl for that matter? The hem is double stitched and the mitered corners are also reinforced to ensure that this blanket is as durable and everlasting as your little space man's energy level.
Courtney makes more than just blankets, her shop includes wonderful bead jewelry (my favorite are the lavender and blue double drop earrings) and some ingenious little kitty toys.
These kitty toys are re-purposed baby socks. They are so adorable I don’t know what to do with myself. These little socks have been filled with catnip and a jingle bell to entice the furry ones in your house. It would be simply impossible for any cat not to love these toys.
“I want to win my choice of any item in the Daughters of Eve shop (up to $15)” you say “I want free shipping and 25% off any other one item of my choice” you say “how do I win this wonderful prize?” you say, well here is what you do:
1. Visit the Daughters of Eve site then come back here and post a comment telling me what your favorite item is, maybe even the one you would pick if you are the winner. You must do this one first all other entries are void without this one!
2. Twitter about this giveaway, then leave another comment here telling me you did so and where I can find the tweet ie. a url or your twitter id so I can find you. This will get you one more entry.
3. Follow our blogs. Become a follower of this blog, then comment letting me know and you get an entry. Become a follower of the Daughters of Eve blog COME BACK HERE TO COMMENT letting me know you are now following her for another entry. If you already follow either of us leave a comment letting me know and that is worth an entry too. This step is worth two entries one for following the Moms Not All blog and one for following the Daughters of Eve blog. Remember to leave two separate comments.
4. Follow us on twitter. This one is worth two entries too follow @momsnotall for one entry and @daughtersofeve for anther entry. Leave two separate comments one for each follow, include your twitter id in your comment so we can verify.
All-in-all you can rack up 6 entries for this giveaway.
What are the Rules to this Giveaway?
1. An email address is required so leave it with your comment or make sure it is easy to find on your blog or profile page (how else will you know you won)
2. A winner will be chosen using random.org
3. The winner will be contacted via email and will have 3 days to reply before a new winner is chosen.
4. Open to US address'
5. Ends on Sunday 3/29/09 @ 9PM CST. Good Luck!!!
This giveaway has ended. Congratulations to Kendra!!
Burning B-B-Q Sauce
Yesterday my son and I went through the drive thru at Wendy's, we both got an order of chicken nuggets. I used a packet of B-B-Q sauce, he takes his plain. After I finished I threw the half used container of sauce into the paper back and left it in my car overnight. This morning when we were driving to the park I noticed what looked like holes that had been burnt in to the paper bag. I smelled the air but it didn't smell like smoke and there were no other signs of a small fire what ever could have caused that I do not know but I looked for signs anyway. Then I picked up the bag and realized that the B-B-Q Sauce had burnt holes through the bag.
We have all heard about Cola having the ability to eat through a bite size chunk of meat in a night but has anyone every heard of this? Whatever is in the B-B-Q sauce that they sell at Wendy's is pretty potent stuff because it really did eat three holes in the paper drive-thru bag.
Things like this make you wonder if it can do this to a paper bag what is it doing to your stomach? No wonder people get Ulcers.
I'm sorry this is so crazy it deserves two pictures.
mmm...tasty.
We bought this at the local Asian food store a while ago, actually it was so long ago that we did not even remember we had it. We just found it the other day in the cabinet. What it is? You ask. Squid Jerky. Sounds good right? Well, let me tell you it tastes a lot better than it smells. The smell of squid jerky can only be likened to a wharf. Not one of those touristy wharfs that are all cleaned up with just the faintest whiffs of sea but a real one. A wharf where the fishing ships go out in the early hours of the morning and pull back in laden with fishiness in the evening. Upon returning the fishermen remove their loads and fillet them right there on the docks. That is the wharf I am talking about, if you have never been to a working wharf and you feel as though your life is missing something look up your local Asian food store and pickup a package of squid jerky.
On the back of the package it says:
"Enjoy Wel-Pac Prepared Squid at anytime and any place. Just open the bag and serve at parties. Make sure you have enough! It's also a convenient snack to take on picnics."
Although for a seafood lover they are not all that bad I can not envision the party at which I would serve Squid Jerky. On top of that serving such a thing would be like serving onions and garlic at a dinner party. A big No, No. Remember the wharf I described above? That is what your breath smells like after having downed a few pieces. Same goes for picnics. Not recommended for gatherings of people in any way unless of course you have started a Squid Jerky Lovers Meetup Group in that case these are the snacks for you.
On a high note they are low in calories, 0 grams of fat and high in protein. the only down side on the nutrition facts is the high sodium count but that comes with jerky doesn't it?
going over the list
On Monday I posted a list of things I need to get done. I was wondering how many things I actually got done so far, and keep in mind it has been two days and not just one. So, then I thought why not share it with you here.
1. scrub kitchen floor
2. vacuum inside hall closet.
3. take little guy to the park (hope it doesn't rain)
4. find an atm that lets you take out $10 at a time
5. take $10 out of the bank
6. drop off books and video at the library (try not to worry about how much we have racked up in overdue fees since I can't pay them til Friday)
7. write more blog entries... this one is still in development so it gets green.
8. clean bedroom
9. clean LG's room
10. repot plant
11. finish laundry...laundry is washed an dried and now in a pile on the bed so again Green
12. put futon mattress back on futon frame
13. Come up with crap to do with LG so he doesn't watch TV all day
14. bring in garbage cans
15. take shower
16. give LG a bath
17. make more coffee
17.5 try not to worry about using all the LG's milk for my coffee
18. make lunch
19. make dinner
20. try not to worry about Super Hubby flying today
21. try not to worry about being alone for a week and a half
22. get a babysitter for Saturday night
23. try not to worry about not being able to find a babysitter for Saturday night
24. try not to worry about not having any money until Friday
25. make time for myself
26. make time for something calming and relaxing.
Everything in Red still needs to be done, Blue is finished and Green is half way done. Just for the record I did make lunch and dinner for the last two days but since we are back around to another day they are back on the list again. There is a blog that is nothing but one Mom's to do list. I need to find that blog and compare my lists to hers. Maybe I will feel better...of course I could feel worse, it's a toss up.
Cool new Beta
I also post over on metroblogging. If you don't know what it is you should totally check it out. It is a great resource if you are moving to a new city or will be visiting somewhere and want to get a feel for the local scene. Anyway they have a cool new feature that is in really early beta but I am going to try it out here and see what it looks like.
