I bet she needs some affection.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

So Michelle Obama hugged the Queen of England, some people are tying to make it into a big controversy but as far as I can tell from the video the Queen didn't mind and they did not break protocol because the Queen reached out and touched Michelle first so what's the big deal? Besides I bet the Queen would like a little extra affection every once in a while Hell if no one is allowed to touch her it must be horribly lonelly. OK she has the Prince (and I don't mean her son or grandsons) but still.

And then there's John McCain

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Senator John McCain was supposed to visit New Orleans today but instead he has decided to go to Columbus, Ohio. Now I have nothing against the people of Columbus as a matter of fact I have quite a bit of family in Ohio and I like them just fine but if you have the choice to go to New Orleans or Columbus let me tell you which one you should choose...you guessed it, New Orleans. I do not want to go into all the reasons if you do not already know them then you are a boring human being who needs to get out of the house more or you are a child who has not been given the gift of travel by your parents and have not been around long enough to rectify that situation and I am sorry for you.

On top of all the fun things to do here we have the history and as a politician with a shot (albeit a very small one) at the White House never never never cancel a trip to New Orleans. Tell us you are not coming at all, that is fine but telling us you are coming and then deciding Columbus is a better choice is just a slap in the face. We need to be coddled, we need to be babied we need whoever is taking over as president next year to come here and hold us for a minute then look us in the eye and promise it won't happen on their watch. That they understand how important we are to the history and culture (not to mention our Port) of this country and that they will not forget about us. That is what we need from the candidates. Not a canceled trip.

For the record I know he has been here before and I know there is a Hurricane, do I care? No, it's kind of the principle of the thing.

Inspired by this article.

On beer...

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

"An Australian man convicted of his seventh drink-driving charge was spending about A$1,000 ($972) a week on beer -- enough to buy more than 2,500 small bottles a month, a newspaper said Tuesday." (SYDNEY (Reuters))

First I do not drink beer not because I do not drink alcohol but because I once got very very sick on the stuff and I hate the way it smells and tastes. But I do drink things like Smirnoff Ice (Grape is my favorite) and I can not imagine spending $1000 per week on it. How do you hold down a job that pays you $1000 a week to spend on alcohol if you drink that much? Maybe he was hording it for the Apocalypse. Well, no that theory does not really work since he was caught drinking and driving.

I have another question who did not know this guy had a problem? Every single person he came into contact with must have seen this coming from a mile away. I can not even fathom having so much money that I have $1000 per week EXTRA to blow on beer. And how long can you do that I could do it for one pay check and then on Saturday Scott would be like "what the hell did you do with all the money." I would of course be to drunk to tell him but I think he would figure it out pretty quick.

Oh well, Inspiration for this blog came from this article.

Spit Anyone?

Monday, July 7, 2008

I have never been a spitter myself but evidently lots of other people in the world are. Just go to google and enter ‘spitting ban’ as the topic you want to search for and watch the articles pop up. You can not spit in public in parts of England, Canada, and China the list goes on. Until this point I have never put that much thought into spitting either in public or in private and definitely not enough thought to warrant passing a law against it. There is one reason and one reason only to spit and that is because there is something disgusting in your mouth. Odds are if there is something disgusting in your mouth you just put it there and I for one do not go around in public putting disgusting things in my mouth repeatedly and repeated spitting them back out onto the sidewalk or other public place. Maybe I am one of the only people who learns from my mistakes.

If people are in fact spitting in public to the point that laws need to be passed should we not then offer free public classes that specifically focus on teaching children not to spit? I would like to know the demographics of a spitter. Are they men, women, young, old, are these people inherently dirty? Do they have high paying executive jobs or do they toil away the hours on a construction site? The study should be titles Who Spits?

And now the horses...

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Why do we as people even debate topics such as this? Should killing horses ever be an option except for survival? If people are dying then yes by all means kill the horse and eat it, cover yourself with the horses skin and live another day. Why? Because people can and that my friend is Darwinism. Darwinism as I see it does not mean killing horses just because people want to have more land in their name or because people are too selfish to care for the horses or how about this one, if people want to fight a stupid war instead of feed some beautiful wild horses in the Western United States. None of these should ever be reasons to kill horses.

If only 100 years ago there were 2 million wild horses in the US and now there are only 60,000 I do not think we have a population issue. The numbers are dwindling naturally if you consider human encroaching on their land nature. Now “budget cuts” are going to force them to be euthanized? If this happens now in a few years we are going to be having a conversation about how the wild horses are on the brink of extinction and what should we do about it. We should leave the damn wild horse alone let him run and frolic of whatever the hell wild horses do. Do not kill them just let them be. PETA here I come.

This rant inspired by the article found here.

Children make you happy, yeah right!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

I did not really know this was up for debate. Of course I should have known better because people have been searching for the holy grail of happiness since the beginning of time. That is what really made Eve taste the forbidden fruit, right? Anyway, I was reading this article which examines the notion that you have to give birth to and raise kids to be happy in life. This is absurd! The article goes on to state that in fact people who have children for the most part state their lives as more unhappy than before they had their little bundles of joy.

Big F-ing surprise. People with children do not sleep right, they do not eat right and they go out of the house with shit on their shirts, literally. It is not their fault it is just that they did not notice the diaper bush against the hem on their shirt before they wrapped it up and tossed it in the garbage. Of course people with children are unhappy, it sucks more than most anything else in your life has ever sucked or will ever suck. Why does it suck so much you ask, well the reason is simple, it is never ending. The pressure is there when you wake in the morning and there during nap time and there when you go to bed it is also there at 3am when you roll over and look at the clock with a sigh.

Parenting is not all bad by any means and as everyone says it is worth it but will it bring you happiness? No, it will not. You make yourself happy with or without children and if you are having them to fill a happiness void in your life then you are going to be sorely disappointed.

Read the article that spawned this rant here.

Too strong tail winds?

Monday, June 30, 2008

Seriously? Ok so Tyson Gay is running his ass off to qualify for this summer’s Olympic game in Beijing. He is doing his thing in the 100 meters and he does it faster than anyone else in the world. not the city, state or country but in the whole world. unfortunately “they” which is probably a bunch of guys behind a desk who could not run as fast if the building was on fire, will not let it go down in the record books. Why? because there was a 4.1 meters per second tail wind and that is way over the allowable 2.0 meters per second.

I am sure this maters to a lot of people especially the guy who came in second place at the race in Eugene, Oregon on Sunday. To me it is like splitting hairs. He is damn fast, let him have the record. If someone else really is better than him then they will waste no time at all breaking his record and then all will have sorted itself out.

Read the article that spawned this post here.

George Carlin, you know you want to...

Monday, June 23, 2008

...what? I do not know but I do know you want to. Anyway, I opened my homepage today to find that Mister George Carlin has passed on and by that I mean he has died. He was 71 so I don't think he went too soon or anything but in his heyday he changed the way a lot of people including the supreme court thought about language as well as other things. I have always loved George Carlin's stand-up, I like seeing him in movies and I have read all of his books. I have gone back through youtube to watch his old stand up routines and such. There is one thing has really stuck with me and that is the longing to be there, to be a part of what he was.
At any comedy show there are people in the audience and they are laughing but when you watch one of Carlin's shows from his peak the people in the audience are not just laughing they are there with him they are not just agreeing with him they are cheering him on because he is saying things that no one else has ever said before. At least not on Television. I have a urge to be there in that audience to be a part of the revolution that only Carlin brought to life.
Comedians like Lewis Black and Bob Saget (some of you know what I mean) are allowed t say the things that they do because of George Carlin and people like him. I want to encourage you to go out and find all the Carlin you can his comedy albums or old videos or his books such as Napalm & Silly Putty or all of the above. If you have young children and believe their tender ears are not yet ready for the likes of Mister Carlin do not fear there is a Carlin for you, he hosted Thomas the Tank Engine from 1991 - 1997 so get yourself a copy and enjoy.

Food

Sunday, June 22, 2008

For a while now I have been hearing about the food crisis. It is of course due in part to global warming and in part to the global economy being screwed up and in part to a few really bad people. There are people eating cookies made of dirt in Haiti as well as other countries I am sure and in Africa there are countries who can produce food but the people there can not afford to buy it. You do not have to look very hard to see that this food crisis will reach America sooner rather than later. I wonder if it has not reached us already. Over the last few months while at the grocery store I have noticed a strange trend. The bread that I usually buy has been out of stock more than half the time. When looking around I notice it is not just my usual brand either.a lot of the time there will be up to a whole shelf empty. Also, I have been experiencing the same trouble with the cereal aisle. I do not know if the two things are connected at all but it makes me think. Lots of people watch the news then walk through the grocery store but the two things do not connect in their head. I do not want to be naive. When things are going wrong right in front of your face but you go on believing what the American media tells you that it is not a problem here, that is stupid. I do not know for 100% sure that the cereal in my local grocers has anything to do with the world's food crisis but it might be, open your eyes!